It was something of a running joke with my housemates that I eat huge amounts of spaghetti every day. I don’t eat it every day, just most days. The process of cooking and preparing spaghetti has become something of a ritual for me, so to address this topic, I think I will give some tips that I have learned on THE ART OF SPAGHETTI.

THE TOOLS

Spaghetti is a simple meal. It requires a deep pot for boiling water and a strainer for draining said water, as well as an additional sauce pot and lid (optional).

THE TOOLS.

Personally, I can’t eat spaghetti without marinara sauce. If you choose to cook sauce, I would suggest using a lid to prevent the sauce from making a mess. I usually leave the lid slightly askew so as to prevent steam from accumulating on the underside and then condensing and dripping onto the top of the sauce, leaving it watery. Whether or not this really works, I don’t know, but it’s the thought that counts, I suppose.

THE KICK

Store-bought noodles and a jar of Ragu can get dull after a while, however quick and easy they might be. Even pre-made sauce can be enhanced with the right herbs and spices. It’s amazing what a few shakes can do for the flavor of a meal, and spaghetti is no exception.

Not pictured: paprika, the mother of spices.

If you can get your hands on fresh ingredients, it makes all the difference. My former housemate Jeremy had a small herb garden for a while, and let me tell you, it was pretty great.

THE PROCESS

The real ritual comes in the actual cooking. I am insistent on waiting until the water gets to a rolling boil. The sauce and noodles go in at the same time – sauce first, then the noodles. Both are left to bubble and pop for about 4 minutes, then I stir them and let them sit for another 4 minutes. I’m told there are various classifications for levels of cookedness, al dente and such. Chances are, such distinctions are important.

It helps if the strainer is about the same size as the pot.

THE DELIVERY

The big joke is how I can eat large amounts of spaghetti and yet not gain any weight. The joke is made even more ridiculous when one takes into account just how much spaghetti I eat in one sitting.

Typically, when I am eating a meal of spaghetti, I use a salad serving bowl. At any one time, I might eat anywhere from one to two pounds of food. I know this because on a few occasions, we used Jeremy’s scale to weigh my typical serving.

Now doesn't that look delicious?

WHERE’S THE BEEF?

One might ask how I can stand eating the same meal day after day. The trick is to see spaghetti not as a meal in itself but as a vehicle for a world of food possibilities! Add meat to the sauce to add a new layer of flavor to an otherwise delicious entree. I’m fond of cooking a pan of beef while the water comes to a boil and then tossing it into the sauce. This approach is great because I can add spices and other flavorings to the beef, and those flavors come out in the final product. One of my favorites is to take taco seasoning and mix it into the beef to make a spicy, meaty marinara.

Chicken is also a pretty safe bet. Depending on how much time I have, I might opt to chop up a chicken breast and stir fry it, or I might bread the chicken and melt some provolone over it to make a dish of chicken parmigiana. If you don’t want to wait for the chicken to cook, you can deep fry it, sacrificing health for time.

Well, this has been weird. I hope that, if I haven’t taught anyone anything new, I have at least entertained a few.

Next week’s topic:

"Moon time!" ... I think.